I watched the Montreal Canadien’s Roy jersey retirement ceremony of Saturday night. In true Canadian fashion, they honored him with a lengthy celebration before the start of the Canadiens/Boston game. It was like any other ceremony, with the introduction, Patrick coming out on the ice and a nice little video of him from his mini-mite days to his NHL games, complete with a cheery background song.

Now, I fully admit I’m sick of the usual tunes. “Simply the Best” by Tina Turner has lost it’s impact, and how many of us would die happy if we never heard Cool and the Gang’s “Celebration” again? But what did the Canadiens decide to play to celebrate the legend? Whitney Houston’s “How Will I Know?”

That’s right folks. That upbeat love song from the 80’s was the (mostly likely carefully) chosen ode to Patrick Roy.

And what says “Thank you, Patrick” more than Whitney? Take these fine lyrics from the song:

“When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love” or “How will I know (don’t trust your feelings).”

Now, granted English is not the native language for most members of the Francophone organization, but you would think someone there would have a good enough grasp of the English language to look over the lyrics and say “Hmm…this doesn’t quite fit for a jersey retirement ceremony.” But alas, we were stuck listening to Whitney cry out “How will I know if he’s thinking of me, I try to phone but Im too shy (can’t speak)” trying as hard as we might to find some kind of significance to Patty.

If anyone can figure out this mystery, please tell tell this goddess. Otherwise, “How will I know?”

OK.  First things first.  A few notes on the Thrashers.  And, no, not game notes.   We don’t do that here.  The Associated Press and TSN do that much better than we possibly could. Why reinvent the already wonderful wheel?

Item A:  Kovalchuk on Semin’s Crosby Rant, the new U.S. President and more >>

Items B1 and B2:  A couple of remarks from the comments section of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution site brought on the giggles:

• Hey, isn’t Tampa still paying Feaster, Tortorella, and now Melrose … to NOT do ANYTHING for them? And they’re paying Brian Lawton, too! If there were a “salary cap” for paying people NOT to work for you, the Tampa Bay Lightning would be over it. (more)
  Oh dear!
• Goalie development is fine, but what’s there to develop? In case of Pavelec, he is far from being technically savvy out there, but the guy is a winner: he has a dominating presence in the crease and he is in the game mentally. Lehtonen is near perfect technically most of the time. But he is not in it all the time mentally. His Niittymaki hang up is just ridiculous. How do you develop from here? (more)
  His Niittymaki complex is ridiculous, but this made me laugh and laugh — almost as much as knowing he was once known as The Hamburgler!

Item C: It really bothers me that TSN never seems to edit its pages. Are there no copyeditors there? I worked for a major news network’s website for 7+ years and to have a “Thrashers squaked by…” type error on the site all night would get you in trouble. This is a major issue at TSN. Great hockey coverage, serious copyediting meltdowns. (Referencing the text under the video on TSN.com “Johan Hedberg stood tall and made 27 saves as the Thrashers squaked past the Hurricanes.”)

It’s also somewhat debatable to say the Thrashers “squeaked by.” But that’s an argument for another time.

I visited the Pepsi Center twice this past weekend for NHL games — Avs vs. Wild and Avs vs. Predators.  I have to say, I was sorry find that the Avalanche have discontinued their use of the Avalanche warning siren as part of their goal celebration.  Now it’s kind of a run-of-the-mill affair.  That siren, coupled with Blur’s Song 2 was distinctive and cool.  Let’s listen, shall we?

You’ve got to admit that siren makes it pretty cool. Now let’s listen to an Avs goal celebration from 2008. It’s missing a bit of panache and could be the goal celebration just about anywhere. Hell, it could be the music they play when the Nuggets win. Very nondescript.  On top of that, they are using Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll, Pt. 2.  I have a big problem with that.  Gary Glitter is a convicted child molester.  I’m sorry, but his music should not be used in NHL arenas or any arenas — particularly any place that children frequent.  That’s just a slap in the face to his young victims.  No royalties for convicted felons, thank-you-very-much!

Everything old is new again, let’s bring back the siren and ditch the music of the dispicable child abuser Gary Glitter.

In case you were wondering, Goddess Kaatiya was visiting this weekend and we watched a couple of games to give you a unique perspective.  Here are my observations:

Thrashers at Sabres 11-7-08 , 3rd period

- Hedberg in net.  Kari still “under the weather.”  Someone on the Thrasher’s forum said they wondered when he’d be “above the weather.”
-  Kotalik fanned on the rebound. I’m glad I’m not the only one that does this.
-  Which Kovy is a smoother stick handler?  That’s what I want to know.
-  Oystrick who?
-  Kovy is working on a creepy molester moustache today
-  Why does the color guy call Enstrom “Tobi?”
-  Does everyone have a man crash on Hainsey?
-   Slava Kozlov. Dirty Russian.  ;)
-   4-4 Now.
-   Wow. Let’s state the obvious, guys. I think it’s pretty obvious you’d like the Thrashers score next.
-   Left buttock.  What is this?  A medical physical?
-   “Tobi.”  I am beginning to wonder what kind of relationship they have.

Calgary at Chicago 11-9-08

-  Patrick Kane scores.  He is such an adorable young man
-  Ouch, Kiprusoff.  Need I say more?
-  Double ouch.
-  Frost and Brouwer going at it. Who? Yeah, that’s what I was wondering.
-  Ouch, Sharp.  Are you ok?  Sarich – you should know better.
-  Can I say Patrick Sharp is cute without sounding like a puckbunny?  No?  Ok, well I’m going to say it anyway.
-  Oh, linesman hit dead on with a puck.  No sign of life yet.
-  Prust and Walker now go at it.  Hey boys, lets stop the dancing.  Start throwing them or stop torturing us.
-  Oh, Kipper.  I even feel sorry for you tonight.
-  Patrick Kane is so diminutive.  But awesome all the same.  Second star of the game.  First star personality.

3rd period -Atlanta Thrashers at Carolina Hurricanes (11-07-2008)

- Johan Hedberg is so tiny … and cute with his moose mask

- Not a big fan of Darren Eliot. He was kind of a jerk when we called him on the Thrashers post-game show a few years ago. Total homer who refused to allow a negative opinion.

- “Pinching” — the word makes me laugh.

- Ilya and Afinogenov look very similar when they skate.

- There’s a whole lotta spitting going on!

- Darren Eliot calling Enstrom “Toby” throughout the game seems so unprofessional.

- Hainsey is such a weird last name.

- Slava is not a dirty Russian!

- Slava is so cute. I can’t stand it

- Oh the Little-White-Russian line is on fire!

- I think the Thrashers need to take a weekly trip to Fort Benning.

- Way to go Johan! Getting the left buttock on the puck!

- I flunked my first blog-along.

- Yay Thrashers.

2nd period – Calgary Flames at Chicago Blackhawks (11-09-2008)

- I like Cristobal Huet’s mask.

- Patrick Kane just had a great goal and an even greater goal celebration.

- Facewashes rule.

Goddess Sasha and I were practically kicked out of Avalanche practice for observing the team from ice level at their practice facility.  I’m a photographer and like to take pictures, and as I was shooting Andrew Raycroft, we were politely asked to move up to the balcony to watch.  I explained that I was there to take pictures and the nice man explained that it was a distraction for us to watch practice from ice level — like you’re allowed to do at every other NHL arena (!).   If little Goddess Sasha, her pal Master A and I can distract a whole team of professional hockey players by our mere presence, the team must have bigger problems than fans wanting to watch practice from downstairs.  Anyway, I was disappointed and  I told him I wouldn’t get any good pictures from upstairs.  He assured me I would.  How, exactly, do you get good pictures through a white net and two panes of glass?  Then he told us that the coaches said it is a liability for us to be there watching from behind the glass.  Last time I checked, about 100 or so people watch every NHL game from behind the glass.  Is that not a liability?    I’ve been to many NHL practices and at all of them people happily milled around, watching through the glass or sitting in the bleachers adjacent to most sheets of practice ice.

Lesson One: Fans attending practice generates interest and buzz for the team.  People who go to practice tell their friends “I saw Darcy Tucker today at practice doing …”  whatever.  It’s irrelevant, but people will tell their friends about the funny or cool thing that happened at practice.  Or show their pictures to their friends.  Or post it on a photo sharing site or message board, where people will get excited, not just about the Avalanche, but hockey in general — and that’s a good thing!   Treating fans like they are nuisances is going to have a similar effect, only negative.  “Some guy basically kicked me out of practice today” or “I went to take goalie mask pictures for my collection, but I didn’t get any shots — they wouldn’t let me!”   Not good buzz or PR at all.

So far I have been very disappointed with the Colorado Avalanche.  They won’t allow attendees to go down to the lower levels to watch warmups before the game.  Why?  Goddess Sasha (an Avs season ticket holder, by the way) witnessed an entire team of youth hockey players from Saskatchewan being told they could not watch the Edmonton Oilers warming up because they did not have lower level seats.  That’s not right!

Lesson Two: Young people grow up to be old people with money — why alienate your future customers?  Why make your city and your team look bad by treating customers — yes customers — this way?   Without the fans, all you have is a bunch of grownups playing a kids’ game.

Boo Avalanche marketing team!

By now most of you have probably seen the video of Patrick Kane in tears over losing his first NHL coach, Denis Savard, when he was fired from the Chicago Blackhawks two weeks ago. If not, I highly recommend you check it out here:

http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/2008/10/17/kane_savard/

The video, though not controversial, spawned comments across North America. Old traditionalists said Kane needed to grow “a thicker skin” if he wanted to survive in the league. Likewise, others interpreted his tears as a weakness that would be magnified once his beloved coach was gone.

To that, I say hogwash. You don’t earn the number one draft pick and a Calder Trophy, demonstrating the physical and mental fortitude to get through an eighty-game season, playing as a boy in a league of men. Folks, this is Patrick Kane. I’m wiling to bet he can cry every night and still score 70 plus points a season. So what’s the big deal? Let the boy show some emotion.

I’ll take it one step further. Let’s encourage some real sentiment! Instead of listening to the yawn-inducing, programmed media robots like Sidney Crosby blandly talking about “overcoming adversity” and “rising to the challenge,” let the guys talk about what pisses them off and make the occasional outrageous statement to the press. The NHL could use some harmless trash-talking — nothing like a good controversy to bring more fans to the sport.

Yes, the sport needs more Patrick Kanes: Talented guys who both play with emotion on the ice and wear their heart on their sleeve off of it.

Thrashers team members:  Get off your lazy asses and play!