“Chiarelli needs to move heaven, earth and draft picks in order to get the player he values highest, and – if that means sending a fool’s ransom to Edmonton in order to make it happen – then so be it.
If Hall is the goal-scoring jackpot, then it’s time for Chiarelli to go all in for the good of the Bruins.”
– Joe Haggerty, CSSNE.com
Taylor or Tyler?
The scene: Several men in business suits sit around a long table in a boardroom. Empty pizza boxes and Chinese take-out cartons litter the room. The low hum of an air conditioner fills the air, its monotonous tones overridden only by the random taps of fingers on laptop keyboards, and the regular clink of a coin on the table.
The characters: Oilers general manager Steve Tambellini, hockey ops president Kevin Lowe, assistant GM Kevin Prendergast, assistant GM Rick Olczyk, director of player development Mike Sillinger, and coach Pat Quinn.
Kevin Prendergast: Heads Hall, tails Seguin. Call it.
Rick Olczyk: Tails.
RO: How about best 400 out of 700?
(General Manager Steve Tambellini enters the room.)
ST: Gentlemen! Today’s the day! Today we make our decision!
KP: Finally! These guys are starting to reek!
ST: OK, let’s go over it again, one last time.
RO: Not again! We’ve done this a thousand times!
ST: And we’ll do it once more. Let’s hear it.
RO: Taylor Hall, Tyler Seguin. Both 6-1, 185. Seguin: 48 goals, 58 assists; Hall: 40 goals, 66 assists. Both can play all three forward positions. “I think they’re so close, they could be flip-flopped.” – E.J. McGuire.
ST: So you’re saying there’s no difference between them.
I see... Tyler Seguin
KP: We’ve been saying that for WEEKS!
ST: Duly noted. So who do we choose?
Pat Quinn: Seguin.
Kevin Lowe: Seguin.
Mike Sillinger: Hall.
ST: I vote Seguin. (sighs) Well, gentlemen, we’re stuck again. Put that loonie away, Prendergast! We’ll have to solve this the hockey way.
(Olyczyk and Quinn eargerly start to pull their suit jackets off.)
ST: What are you doing?
RO: You said the hockey way! Time to throw down!
ST: No, no, no! With logic and reasoning!
RO: (mutters) Since when is that the hockey way?
ST: Somebody convince me that Hall is the better pick.
MS: The fans want Hall.
ST: OK, you’ve convinced me. We’re taking Seguin. Thank you, gentlemen!
(Tambellini’s cell phone rings.)
ST: Hello? Oh, hi Peter! What can I do for you? (covers phone) It’s Chiarelli!
(The room falls silent.)
ST: What’s that noise, Peter? What? Your office is surrounded by a mob of angry fans demanding Hall? Did you lock the door? They’re breaking it down? Send Neely out there! Isn’t that why you hired him?
"I need Tayor Hall!!"
(Tambellini pauses, listens.)
ST: You’ll give us ANYTHING to switch draft spots? Well, sure, Peter, hold on a minute, OK? (covers phone) It’s Christmas! Who do we want?
KL: Bergeron! Oooh, ask for Bergeron!
KP: No, Krejci! Hell, I’ve give anything to have that kid at center.
MS: Rask! (the others stare) Hey, he said anything!
RO: He’s got a crapload of draft picks and prospects, remember. Ask him for Toronto’s second this year, Toronto’s first next year, Caron, and Krejci.
PQ: The picks, yes. But not Krejci. Ask for Lucic.
(The room falls silent. All stare at Quinn.)
ST: Lucic? Peter will never give up Lucic. He’s a monster. He’s only 22. And the fans love him.
PQ: No they don’t. (looks at laptop) Check out the Internet posts: “Lucic’s gone soft! Get rid of him! He SUX!”
RO: He was playing hurt! Are they insane?
PQ: I take it that’s a rhetorical question. Ask him, Steve.
(Eyes gleam around the room. Heads nod. Hands rub together. Tambellini uncovers the phone.)
ST: OK, Peter. Peter? Get under your desk if you have to! Peter, we’ll let you have Hall, sure. For Toronto’s second this year, Toronto’s first next year, Jordan Caron and Milan Lucic. Yeah, I’ll hold. (covers phone)
KL: I can’t believe he’s doing this. Has he lost his mind? All he has to do is pick second and he’s got a great player! No pressure at all!
ST: You’d lose your mind too, dealing with those nutcase fans and media. (uncovers phone). Yes, Peter! You say OK? Sounds good! You can fax the paperwork anytime. See you in L.A.!
(Whoops and shouts, high-fives and general hilarity. Fade out.)