If you’re familiar with our blog, you know that I’m an unapologetic Russophile. And there is no Russian more deserving of my love than Alexander Semin of the Washington Capitals — especially during this post season.  In fact, he’s been so dominant in all aspects of the game that sportscasters, play-by-play and color commentators alike have been forced to acknowledge his stellar play.

You’d think I would be happy that he is finally getting his due, but I’m not entirely pleased.  As a matter of fact, I become a bit more exasperated every time I hear his name, because you never just hear what a great job he’s doing.  Rather, it’s always preceded by something like “not known for his defense …”

Maybe he’s not “known” for his defense but he’s not known for his lack of defensive play either.  He has been a plus player for most of his career and, while he was a mere +9 this year, he was a +22 in 2010-11 and a +36 in 2009-10.  Mike Greene has made more defensive errors in half the games this year and he is a defenseman!  Do you hear the experts make such qualified statements about him?  No.  Am I surprised?   Not at all.  The bias against Russians has emerged in this absurd, covert and undeserved bashing of Semin.

“In a rare effort, Semin dives for the puck,” the NBC Sports team raves.  Rare effort?  Let’s face it, Semin is never going to be an overly physical player.  It’s not his style.  He is deceptively fast as he is a smooth skater trained under the Soviet sports system, and could most certainly out skate the majority of current NHL players.  Yet for whatever reason, the rough-and-tumble skating style of most North American players gives spectators — and even Semin’s former teammates – the idea that these players are trying harder.  If you’re not willing to put your body on the line every shift, you’re accused of not putting out a decent effort.  Again, I’m crying xenophobia.

Then there’s the age-old accusation that Semin just doesn’t care.  Case in point:  “Semin one minute looks like a complete player, then the next looks like he’s not interested in the game,” a color commentator opined during the Boston series.  Earlier this year, his former coach Bruce Boudreau said Semin really does care, claiming no one on the team takes losing as hard as he does.  Taking a two-minute penalty is so devastating to him because of the consequences it might have on the team, Boudreau asserts, that he has a hard time not letting it affect the rest of his game.  This is an insight those highly critical of him apparently choose to ignore, forget or simply not believe.  After all, he’s not Sidney Crosby!

Maybe the North American media are coming around.  Before game one of the second round, they highlighted Semin as the top Cap the playoffs — without a hint of criticism.  I’m not ready to completely forgive the folks at NBC Sports just yet though.  If he fails to live up to his performance in the first round, I’m willing to bet he’ll be the first one blamed.  Still, with his contract up at the end of the year, the long-overdue positive PR can only increase the value of the overly criticized and extremely underrated Alexander Semin.

Photograph: Shannon Valerio

The playoffs have arrived and thus so have the pet peeves of this goddess.  Surprisingly it’s not the players and the excessive violence but the sportscasters and announcers that are grating on my nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Here are just a few items that are getting my goat this year:

• The stat du jour mentioned durning just about every game:  “That was ‘so-and-so’s’ first playoff goal in ‘x’ number of years.”  I’ve heard this multiple time this year. It’s almost always referring to a player who, for example, has played on horrible teams that either didn’t make it to the playoffs or were defeated in the first round, and hence have only played say, six playoff games in the past five years.  How is that statistically significant for an individual player?   Same with the assertion that a goalie, like Jose Theodore, hasn’t had a shutout in the playoffs in*gasp* 8 years.  Guess what?  You can’t stop goals from the golf course.

• Talking about the unacceptable headhunting and retaliation without mentioning Todd Bertuzzi, the man you single handedly ended not only Steve Moore’s career, but eliminated any chance for him to live a normal life.  Has everyone forgotten the biggest thug  of all?

• Mike Milbury talking about honor, and lack thereof.  This coming from the man who I witnessed climb in the crowd and beat a fan – with the fan’s own shoe!

• Pierre McGuire name-dropping.  We’re all really impressed that Wayne Gretzky texted you personally to tell you some arbitrary and obvious fact about the series you happen to be covering that day.  There’s a reason McGuire’s one of the most disliked announcers in hockey.

•  Not criticizing the poster child of the NHL, a.k.a. Sidney Crosby.  The entire first melee began because Crosby slashed Bryzgolov’s glove not once, not twice, but three times after he clearly had it covered.  Also, describing Sidney’s needless grabbing of Hartnell’s jersey and tugging at him when Hartnell clearly didn’t want to get involved, as “wrestling between Crosby and Hartnell.”  Come on, we can all see what happened. Pictures don’t lie.  Stop sucking up to the league and waiting for the network to give you permission to say something even slightly negative about him.

All this and we’re not even halfway through the first round!  Have any of your own pet peeves these playoffs?  I want to hear them!

 

One May 29, venerable hockey writer Stan Fischler tweeted the following:

The Bruins have less of a chance to win The Cup than Atlanta has of retaining the Thrashers.

He wasn’t alone. The vast majority of hockey experts, from Puck Daddy to ESPN to THN, picked the Vancouver Canucks to easily skate off with the Stanley Cup against the overmatched Boston Bruins. After all, the Canucks had scoring powerhouses Henrik and Daniel Sedin, Selke Trophy finalist Ryan Kesler, and Olympic gold-medal winner and Vezina finalist Roberto Loungo. The Bruins? Sure, they had their own Vezina candidate in Tim Thomas, but their top regular-season scorers (Milan Lucic and David Krejci) had totaled just 62 points each. Zdeno Chara was a Norris finalist and former winner, but had been panned by some as overrated and overhyped. Thomas? A freakishly lucky goalie whose success rested largely on the Bruins’ defense-first system. Or so many said.

The Canucks, NHL royalty as the Presidents Trophy winner with the best regular-season record, looked down their noses at the rag-tag Bruins as the media all but crowned them champions before the first puck drop.

The disrespect manifested itself in Game 1, when Alexander Burrows bit Patrice Bergeron’s finger during a scrum, and continued in Game 2, when Max Lapierre taunted Bergeron by shoving his fingers at the Bruins center’s mouth.

And that’s when Nemesis stepped in.

Today, nemesis refers to someone’s particular enemy, but in ancient Greece, Nemesis, according to Wikipedia, “was the spirit of divine retribution against those who succumb to hubris (arrogance before the gods). The Greeks personified vengeful fate as a remorseless goddess; the goddess of revenge. The name Nemesis is related to the Greek word νέμειν [némein], meaning ‘to give what is due’”

Nemesis showed up at the TD Garden with revenge on her mind; the Bruins blew the Canucks out in Games 3 and 4 by scores of 8-1 and 4-0, respectively, to even the series.

The Canucks pulled ahead 3-2 in the series after returning to Vancouver and winning 1-0, but apparently hadn’t learned their lesson. Loungo criticized Thomas’s goaltending technique, calling the one goal allowed one he himself would have stopped due to his superior positional play. Given a chance to clarify his statement the next day, he plaintively said he had “pumped (Thomas’s) tires all series,” and that Thomas has said nothing nice about him.

What kind of professional athlete, one making $10 million per year, needs validation from his opponent? As Thomas said after Game 6, “I didn’t know it was my job to pump his tires.”

Perhaps Loungo took his cue from his coach, who whined that Thomas played too far out of his crease and made a formal complaint to the NHL about him. Or Daniel Sedin, who allowed a 5-foot-nothing rookie (Brad Marchand) to use him as a speed bag late in Game 4. What kind of a man – what kind of a hockey player? – allows that to happen? What member of the Bruins wouldn’t have knocked Marchand into the middle of next week?

So Nemesis had to be smiling on Game 7 as Thomas solidified his Conn Smythe trophy, as Marchand and Bergeron scored two goals each (talk about divine retribution!), and Chara lifted the Stanley Cup to the rafters as  the Bruins celebrated their first Stanley Cup since 1972.

Postscript: The night of Game 7, there was a total lunar eclipse over parts of Africa and Asia. The last time the world witnessed a lunar eclipse was Oct. 27, 2004, the night the Boston Red Sox defeated the St. Louis Cardinals to win their first World Series since 1918.

Photo from boston.com

Riddle me this: Why are the Stanley Cup playoffs like old age?

The answer: Because neither one is for sissies.

It’s been a couple of days since the Boston Bruins beat the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals. I think I’m starting to recover. I can actually watch the DVR now (for the fifth time – or is it sixth?) without twitching and flinching at every Tampa shot.

But Friday night almost did me in.

I was at work. I’m a newspaper editor (yes, we still exist!), and at times I work in news, at times in sports. In the sports department, we watch games on TV. In the news department, those of us who are fans watch surrepticiously. Unfortunately, I can only see the TV in the news department if I turn and crane my neck. Once, when I did so earlier in the playoffs, my co-worker across the desk got up and turned the TV off. I managed not to kill her (she is a nice person, really; she just has a blind spot when it comes to sports).

This time around, I didn’t chance it, just followed the game on NHL.com’s Icetracker, and via the Bruins’ Twitter updates (turning the notification sound so low that only I could hear it). I stayed busy, keeping the nerves at bay by throwing myself into my work.

Unfortunately, work petered out just after 10 p.m., as the scoreless game moved well into the third period. I picked up my phone, announced I was going outside for a break, and headed for the parking lot.

9:00 to go. Timeout Bruins.

I sat on a bench, hunched over, staring at the phone, as the seconds crawled by.

Shot toward Thomas. Deflected wide, but not far off.

Oh, thanks. Very reassuring. I leaned over, muttering, c’mon guys, c’mon, c’mon…

Bruins score! Horton!

I leaped off the bench, cheered, danced.

1-0 BOS. Horton (Ference, Krejci)

“When?” I asked the phone. Usually Bish (John Bishop, the Bruins’ PR man) gives the time of the goal. Not this time. I imagined the Garden, the noise, the crowd going wild, Krejci and Horton celebrating… I got up to pace. Surely there must not be much time left. Surely. Back and forth I went, back and forth…

6:00 to go.

SIX MINUTES!?!!?

Huge save by Roloson on Ryder.

Rydes!! Gah!!

Tampa Bay continues to be relentless.

OK, I didn’t need that.

Just under 2:00 to go.

I paced maniacally, watching the digital numbers change in the upper right corner of my phone, trying to prove to myself that time had not stopped.

Stoppage with 44 seconds left in regulation.

My heart was ready to burst out of my chest.

B’s control…. win!

I screamed up at the cloudy sky. I danced a quick jig, then ran inside, to the TV in the sports department, and watched the Bruins celebrate. I cried a little.

Then I went back to my seat. The editor across from me looked up. “Are you OK?” she asked.

“I had to go outside. I was too nervous to watch the game,” I said.

She shook her head and laughed. “It’s just a hockey game.”

No, no it isn’t. Trust me on this one. It isn’t.

Photo: Boston Bruins courtesy of slidingsideways at bestlaidplans.org

For a full calendar year, the Boston Bruins and their fans heard it: Chokers.

The Bruins couldn’t finish off the Philadelphia Flyers after taking a three games to none lead in the 2010 Eastern Conference semifinals. They were the worst chokers in the history of sports! They were the first NHL team EVER to lose after taking a 3-0 advantage! (Actually they were the third, but to some ::cough::Puck Daddy::cough hyperbole is much more fun than reality.) This would hang over their heads FOREVER!

Well, not quite. More like 360 days, to be exact.

Lessons learned by the Bruins, changes made. By the front office, which over the summer brought in a big, sniping wing in Nathan Horton and a solid, grinding center in Greg Campbell. Which added even more forward depth at the trade deadline in Rich Peverley and Chris Kelly. Not this year would the Bruins be left to depend on a European reject (Miro Satan), a fourth-line PK specialist (Dan Paille) and a player who never should have seen the ice (Marc Savard) as a “first” line.

And lessons learned by the players (those who remained;  almost half the roster turned over this season). Never, EVER take your foot off the gas, and never take anything for granted.

But probably the biggest factor in this series was the simplist: The good health of David Krejci, aka Flyer Killer (since last year’s playoffs, Boston is 10-0-1 vs. Philadelphia with Krejci in the lineup). Four goals (three game-winners), five assists, plus-6 in four games. The Flyers targeted Krejci (and let him know about it), but with Milan Lucic and Nathan Horton on his wings, this time things were different. As Scott Hartnell discovered in Game 4, when he tried to put Krejci over the boards into the Bruins bench, only to have his head almost removed from his shoulders by Lucic.

Other than goalie Tim Thomas, who stole Game 2 (Boston’s only real difficult game, which they won 3-2 in overtime), the other beast of the series was defenseman Dennis Seidenberg, who led all skaters in ice time (29:02, 36:26, 28:16, 25:43), recorded three assists, and finished at a staggering plus-10. One Boston TV sports announcer reminded us, in tones tinged with surprise, that, oh yeah, Seidenberg missed the playoffs last year (severed wrist tendons). No shit, Sherlock.

Some (not the majority, to their credit) Flyers fans and media have protested that the Flyers couldn’t overcome their myriad injuries. The biggest factor in the series, some say, was the loss of Chris Pronger. Sure, I’d accept that, if you weren’t all shouting “CHOKERS!” at the Bruins last season. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Nobody who thumbed his or her nose last year can use injuries as a excuse. Sorry. The Flyers lost because the Bruins outhit, outhustled and just flat out outplayed them, at every position.

Pass the sugar.

(Photo courtesy of slidingsideways at bestlaidplans.org)

Do you need something to distract you from the stifling heat?

I’ve been enjoying the offering of 35 years of Stanley Cup Finals on the NHL Network. What they’ve done in their Raising the Cup series, is to take the Cup-clinching game of each year and show it in its entirety. True greatness! (Although not shown in Canada.)

We’ve been able to see some of these games before on their Vintage Games series, but the games are always compressed and chopped up. So when I see that they have five hours dedicated on August 6 for the 1999 game, excuse me while I get a little excited. Few, if any, have that entire game on DVD. Now, because of the NHL Network, we’ll have a chance to throw away our deteriorating VHS tapes of that triple-overtime fingerbiter.

I’ve watched bits and parts of most of the games, including the North Stars loss in 1981 to the Islanders and the 1991 loss to the Penguins. Why? Because they are moments of time that my favorite team will never get back. How great was it to see rookie Dino Ciccarelli, or a young Mike Modano weaving his way through defenders? To see Neal Broten as captain still encouraging his clearly outmanned team?

And what Canucks fan wouldn’t want to see the beloved Trevor Linden single-handedly almost beating the Rangers? Or a Blackahawks fan watch Chris Chelios in his full glory almost decapitating Larry Murphy, or the skinny kid Roenick try to get a puck past Barraso? Even though you know your team didn’t win, how great is it to see your favorite players back in their prime? AND… still on your team!

To me, the worst part of this series has been some of the game presentations. Sometimes you get the CBC coverage, but there have been MSG, and Pittsburgh feeds also. Brutal … that’s all I can say about those Pens’ feeds. Especially against the Blackhawks. Blech! Talk about homers! It makes today’s Avs and Ducks guys seem tame in comparison. (oh, and Jack Edwards, I miss the OLD you!)

My favorite game so far has been the 1993 Kings/Canadiens game with the ESPN feed. It wasn’t seeing all the Habs players who ended up in Dallas, or seeing Denis Savard’s eyes glistening as he stood behind the bench, or even Barry Melrose’s superior mullet. Nope, it was seeing Tom Mees again.

Who is Tom Mees you might ask? Tom was hockey on ESPN. He was one of the original Sports Center anchors, but when the NHL started on ESPN in 1987, he became their chief play-by-play guy.  He was also instrumental in furthering NCAA hockey coverage, as well as bringing the Frozen Four to national prominence. Unfortunately, Tom died in 1996 of an accidental drowning. During the work stoppage, I often wondered what role his voice could have had in ending that madness sooner.

A few other goodies gleaned from the broadcast?

• That Patrick Roy was about to become the first $3 million goalie.
• That ESPN2 was about to be up and running.
• The interview with Brian Bellows where he talked about how happy he was to win the Cup, but that he wished he could have won it two years earlier for the fans of Minnesota. I may have teared up at that.

So thank you NHL Network for sharing these full game gems with us. I’ll be watching for 1999 and 2000, even though the latter didn’t turn out the way I would have liked.

P.S.  This is a tough week for my old Norris Division heart. Congrats to Marty Turco, and a possible congrats to Modano, who I hear is about to sign a deal with the anti-Christ.  Patrick Kane is going to score a gazillion goals with Marty’s puckhandling skills, and Mike??? Continue being you.

Photos:  Mike Modano from Getty Images; Tom Mees from Wiki Commons.

Budding Russian star Alexander Burmistrov, who was drafted by the Atlanta Thrashers admitted he was very happy with this.

“I’m so happy,” he told Russia’s SportExpress.ru.

With their selection of Burmistrov in the first round, the Thrashers once again dip into a pool of extremely talented Russian players. The organization, no doubt, hopes Burmistrov can blossom into goal scorer, like his predecessors Ilya Kovalchuk and Maxim Afinogenov. So who is this newest Russian to join the Thrashers? We know he was taken in the first round of the NHL Entry Draft (8th overall pick). We know he is smallish — at just 5’11″ and 157 pounds, but that is sure to change as he grows and gets older. Some quotes from the man himself might help illuminate his character. (Quotations translated from Russian by Goddess Thorkhild.)

I knew that Atlanta was interested in me. We had interviews both in Toronto, and already here. But I was quite agitated. Since the very morning.

Question: What do you know about Altanta?

It’s very hot there. This city is called “Hotlanta,” isn’t it? By the way, the first NHL game I saw live was Toronto-Atlanta.

Question: Are you going to seek advice from [former Thrashers] Ilya Kovalchuk or Slava Kozlov?

No, why? I will go and see myself.

Question: If you can’t manage to crack Atlanta’s first team, what are you going to do?

I won’t come back to the Kontinental Hockey League for sure. The KHL is a good league, but I’m in the mood to play here [in North America] and I don’t want to take steps back.

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Burmistrov also gave an interview to the AllHockey.ru. Here are the most interesting bits.

When I went to the stage [at the NHL Entry Draft] I didn’t understand anything, I was in a coma-like state. When I was on stage, [NHL Commissioner] Gary Bettman welcomed me, then I started to recover.

I had my parents, my brother, two agents, the agent’s daughter, and Vanya Telegin [Ivan Telegin, whom the Thrashers selected in the fourth round] with his mother and parents with me. We are on good terms, so we sat in one sector. And I’m very glad Atlanta selected him too.

I was rather surprised during the photoshoot. When they were taking a photo of me standing with a puck, they told me, “Show us who you are.” I thought it was rather strange.

During my time in Los Angeles I went to a beach, to Universal studios. It was fantastic, I can’t explain it with words. Then I went to Disneyland. When my agent and I walked around the center, I suddenly say a man in white running towards us. When he reached us, I knew he was Sidney Crosby! Simply running in the center of L.A. He was the only celebrity I saw there.

* For more on Alexander Burmistrov, be sure to check out Goddess Kaatiya’s pre-draft profile of him.

Photos: Alexander Burmistrov draft day portraits from Getty Images.

Maybe the headline should have read “Hockey Gods, er, Goddesses Lift ‘Hossa Curse’”? Nah! Too easy.

Readers of this blog no doubt know of my great love and admiration for Marian Hossa. I’ve believed for years he didn’t deserve all the crap he’s taken from Pittsburgh Penguins fans who somehow feel he jilted them (get over it, you had him for three months!) and Detroit Red Wings fans who derided him as nothing but a mercenary (maybe that’s true, but it was his right — right?). It’s us Atlanta Thrashers fans who could really make a case for being the jilted ones. The ones he up and left as soon as the gettin’ was good.

But I’ve never thought of him that way. As I talked about in a previous entry, Hossa gave Atlanta many good years — years he never asked for (please recall he signed a long-term deal with the Ottawa Senators and was traded the same day for Dany Heatley — after being denied a no-trade clause). While he was in Atlanta, he became a huge fan favorite and, in my observation, got a heck of a lot more love on many days than did the ultimate Thrasher Ilya Kovalchuk.

So with a tiny bit of sadness, I watched Hossa finally raise the Stanley Cup. I am happy for him. Short of some horrible misdeed, I will always cheer for him. I just wish, as I cheered him, he would still be wearing that glorious (!) Thrasher blue. Cheers Marian!

Photo: Marian Hossa by Getty Images.

Not only am I a big supporter of the boys of the junior ranks; but for the last 30+ years I’ve been a fangirl of the big boys too. For the most part, I’ve leaned towards the good guys like Nicklas Lidstrom, Teemu Selanne and of course my beloved Captain Canuck aka Trevor Linden. But once in a while I would go for someone who didn’t fit that mold … he did what he damn well felt like and f*@% you if you don’t like it. For a long time, that was Mark Messier … well until he went to New York and started a reign of terror over my Trevor, but that is another story for another day. The last couple of years, though, someone piqued my interest. Someone whom I never ever thought I’d find interesting — until he became a member of one of my teams. That man is Chris Pronger.

Christopher Robert Pronger has been on the radar for quite some time but as we came more and more into the Internet age; things that you wouldn’t read about other than in local papers or see on ESPN/TSN for 30 seconds would cross the globe (especially for those of us in the Pacific Time Zone). What kept my attention on him was the whole “Pronger wants to be traded” thing that got started in Edmonton after the Oilers lost to the Carolina Hurricanes in 2006. There were all sorts of stories concocted from the actual reason that was given by the man himself which was “personal reasons,” to his getting a local celebrity knocked up; and the one that most of the media ran with, which was that his wife hated life there. I’ve been to Edmonton. Sure, it’s not the mecca that St. Louis is; but it’s not that bad. You just have to like miles and miles of flat land and build your kids’ Halloween costumes around snow suits that look like the little brother in “A Christmas Story.” Other than that, it seems like a very lovely town.

Once the Oilers found a buyer for their disgruntled boy, he went to a place that might possibly be the photo negative of Edmonton and that is Southern California. I wasn’t sure what to think when he was traded to the Ducks. I was happy to have a player of his caliber on my team; but I wasn’t sure what sort of mischief he was going to get himself into. What we found out is that, yeah, he’s really good at what he does but part of what he does is knock people around. He is also kind of an ass sometimes. Sometimes, though, you are willing to accept the “con” of his being an ass, for the “pro” of what else he can bring to the team. Namely, he is a player who is not only skilled at what he does, but he was willing to step into a leadership role, taking over the captaincy of the Ducks while Scottie Nieds made up his mind about retirement.

So I guess what I’m trying to say, and may get rotten fruit thrown at me for saying it, is that Chris Pronger doesn’t owe anything to anyone; and least of all the media. As a professional, he has missed the post season only four times; and one of those was because no one else in the league was working. During those playoff runs, three separate teams in the last five years went to the Stanley Cup Finals, with one winning it all — and the team he’s on this year has a good chance.

And for a very large defenseman, he’s scored a fairly respectable 661 points in a little more than 1,100 games, as well as being a six-time All-Star and owning one of those cute little copies of the Hart and the Norris Trophies. On top of that, he’s helped Team Canada win a World Championship and two Olympic gold medals. What more do you want from the man?

It amuses me reading different blogs and watching various sports shows. It appears that the media, both here and on the northern side of the 49th parallel, expect that since he’s a veteran and a Stanley Cup champion that he’s in the same vein of interview as Sidney Crosby or Johnny Toews. Well, kids, he ain’t. He never has, never will be; and for God’s sake stop having the nerve to look so surprised.

Photo: Chris Pronger from The Associated Press/The Canadian Press, Ryan Remiorz

Oh Chris! Yes, I mean the Chris of the Philadelphia Flyers: Pronger. I have to hand it to him for bringing the controversy to the Stanley Cup Finals. I love that in losing efforts he raced over to snap up the “winning” (er, losing?) puck after both games in Chicago, then claimed he threw them in the trash can “where they belong.” Total asshole thing to do? Maybe. But it’s also a dash of genius in a weird, twisted Dr. Evil kind of way.

Pronger has always known how to poke and prod and push his way onto the “hate” lists of opposing players on the ice. Now, here he goes doing the same thing skating off the ice — and I love it.

I am a firm believer that pretty much any press is good press. If this gets people talking about the NHL — great! If it fired up the Flyers for Game 3 (which they did win in overtime) — also great! If it got under the skin of the Blackhawks and caused them to lose focus — way to go Chris. The mind of an NHL agitator works in mysterious ways.

NHL players say Pronger is one of those guys you loathe — unless he’s on your team. Now he’s making off with pucks and infuriating certain members of the Blackhawks (hello Ben Eager!), going so far as to remark to the media (in regard to Eager’s eager interest in his puck-snatching ways) that “apparently, it got him upset. So I guess it worked, didn’t it? It’s too bad. I guess little things amuse little minds.”

Oh Chris! You are truly evil! With such a remark, you zing not just Eager, but all of us who find your unique brand of gamesmanship so amusing.

(No word yet on who grabbed the Game 3 puck.)

So gamesmanship or disgrace? We want to know what YOU think!

Photo: Chris Pronger by The Associated Press.

It’s a Goddess smackdown! Ha ha! Just kidding. But it is that time again. Time for the Hockey Goddesses to make their fearless predictions. Much like we did with our Olympic pick off 1 and 2, read the tea leaves and let you know what we see. We’ll also share our thoughts on some marginally related — but fun — items, like our vote for the “best playoff beard.”

We made our selections before the first game of the Stanley Cup playoffs without consulting one another. So, now that I have kept you in suspense — here are the results! After you read, let us know what you think!

Goddess Face Off

	Stanley Cup Winner	Conn Smythe	Prediction
Amy	Blackhawks	Michael Leighton	Blackhawks in 7
Annalisk	Blackhawks	Antti Niemi	Blackhawks in 6.
Kaat	Blackhawks	Antti Niemi	Blackhawks in 6.
Sasha	Philadelphia	Michael Leighton	Flyers in 7.
Savvy	Blackhawks	Jonathan Toews	Blackhawks in 5.

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Watercooler Chatter

The Goddesses want to give a special award to Scott Hartnell. We appreciate irreverence. We appreciate the desire to make a bold statement, but none of us seems to appreciate Scott Hartnell’s special brand of wolfishness. (We prefer the Peter Forsberg kind of wolf.)

Goddess Amy

• Ugliest player: * I don’t think either team has anyone truly stomach turning in the looks department; but I think that Scott Hartnell has to be the player who best personifies ugly in the way he plays.
• Prettiest player: Blackhawks- Niklas Hjalmarsson You would think being a Swede would give him a head start; but hi!, you’ve met Daniel Tjärnqvist and the Sedin twins right? Patrick Sharp is a very close second as the brunette contender, but I think Nikky is just lovely.
  
  

  The Blackhawks' Niklas Hjalmarsson.

• Disappearing act: I don’t know if there has been one from the Flyers, which is probably one of the reasons they’re in the Finals. On the Hawks though, I have to go with Brian Campbell. He’s being paid a lot of money and, though his regular season was pretty good, in the playoffs his plus/minus is higher than is point total.
• Best shirtless: I’m sure there are more out there, but I was in a time crunch and I remembered this one. Yeah, he’s a douche sometimes, but he helped my Ducks win a Cup and he’s pretty built too. I give you Chris Pronger (pictured, left, with former NHLer Eric Lindros).
  

  Chris Pronger, left, and Eric Lindros

• Best hair: ** It has to be the mullet on Pat Kane. OMG … it’s so bad that it’s fabulous.
• Best playoff beard: Best playoff beard — I hate him but Scott Hartnell has to win. He also comes second to Pat Kane in the best hair department.
• Worst playoff beard: It’s gotta be Danny Briere. It’s just only a tiny bit thicker than Sidney Crosby’s but Sid is 10 years younger.
• Best goalie mask (of those goalies remaining): Cristobal Huet. It’s beautiful with the Native American headdress on it. I do miss Patty Lalime’s mask with his signature Marvin the Martian wearing the headdress though.

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Goddess Kaat

• Ugliest player: * It’s so predictable that I hesitate to select him, but Scott Hartnell, come on down!
• Prettiest player: * Marian Hossa. When he was traded away, it was like they traded away my best friend and I suddenly had to find a new best friend. I am still looking. He’s pretty when he is playing well. He’s Magical Marian and I hope to see that gorgeous play come out to, well, play. I hope he silences the critics.
• Disappearing act: I predict one of the two starting goalies goes AWOL. It would be so easy to cherrybomb on Hossa, who is having a rough go.
• Best shirtless: My selection is the Michael Jordan statue outside the United Center. Someone has placed a Blackhawks jersey and helmet on it and it just ain’t right as we say down South. Jordan deserves to be left in his old Bulls jersey, not dolled up like the famous Manneken Pis in Brussels, Belgium whom they love to dress up in costumes. No, no. MJ deserves the respect of being in his own gear. Therefore, he’s my pick for “best shirtless” — or would be best shirtless. He shouldn’t be in that jersey!
  
  

  A Blackhawks jersey was placed on the Michael Jordan statue outside of the United Center.

• Best hair: ** I am kind of loving Marian’s shag. He’s got a nice looking Beatles vibe going and I dig it. Enough of the spiky. He’s going all sleek and silky. Nice! (His beard looks well looked after too. Extra points!)
  

  Marian Hossa's new 'do.

• Best playoff beard: Yeesh, that’s a tough one. I am not much of a beard fan in general, but I rather like the beards that haven’t come in all the way or are patchy — you just know that bothers the poor guys. I find it endearing and, dare I say it? Cute. There, I ruined my rep.
• Worst playoff beard: Chris Pronger. I am baffled by his lack of a beard at all. Come on!
• Best goalie mask (of those goalies remaining): Cristobal Huet. I really like the feathers and the continuity of a theme. It just looks cool. I know some people will think that makes me uncool and that I am stereotyping or being otherwise rude. Not in the least. I just think it looks awesome. Only great love is intended.
  

  Cristobal Huet's beautiful, colorful mask.

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Goddess Sasha

• Ugliest player: *I’m interpreting like I always do. Literally. It is a close race between Scott Hartnall and Ian LaPerriere.
• Prettiest player: * Niklas Hjalmarsson. Just check him out.
• Disappearing act: I will predict that Patrick Kane does the disappearing act .
• Best shirtless: Riley Cote. I’m not sure what is best, but it’s best something.
  

  Riley Cote's sexy chest.

• Best hair: ** Patrick Sharp always has great hair.
  

  Patrick Sharp and his fabulous hair.

• Best playoff beard: Arron Asham – he looks Asian with his..so much so the third search suggestion when you start to type in your google toolbar is “Arron Asham Asian.”
• Worst playoff beard: Simon Gagne — Because it’s just ugh.
  
  

  Simon Gagne, left, and Danny Briere were both tagged as having the worst playoff beard.

• Best goalie mask (of those goalies remaining):Both are very un-inspiring I think.
• Thoughts: I think Philadelphia will win — a bunch of no names, barely squeaking in and have scratched and clawed their way to the finals.

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Goddess Savvy

• Ugliest player: * Hmmm… Carcillo or Hartnell… Carcillo or Hartnell… oh great. Now I have to go wash my brain out with soap.
• Prettiest player: * Patrick Kane. I like pretty boys with curly blond mullets. Reminds me of my college days.
  
  

  Patrick Kane wears hockey hair nouveau (and a fauxhawk?).

• Disappearing act: Chris Pronger. Wishful thinking, I know. But I’m hoping somebody does this to him:

• Best shirtless: [Editor's note: Goddess Savvy is cheating again! Ha ha! -- Admin] The Boston Bruins aren’t in the final. :-( He’s pretty anyway: Matt Hunwick.
  

  He's not in the finals, but he still looks good with his shirt off: Matt Hunwick.

• Best hair: ** Kane, of course.
• Best playoff beard: Danny Briere, because it’s so… sad. Like a little lost playoff beard.
• Worst playoff beard: Jonathan Toews, hands down. He looks like he’s molting.
• Best goalie mask (of those goalies remaining): Tuukka Rask. He’s not remaining? He SHOULD be!
• Thoughts? Blackhawks in five. (I wonder if Stan Bowman, the Blackhawks GM, will cap off the series win by hoisting the Stanley Cup and saying, “Après moi, le deluge”?)

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* Note 1: Prettiest/ugliest player was open to interpretation. It could have meant looks, style or play, however the goddess chose to interpret that question.
* Note 2: There is not a “worst hair” category as it is clear that Scott Hartnell would sweep it.

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Photos: Patrick Kane by Getty Images; Matt Hunwick by Stuff Boston; Marian Hossa by The Associated Press; Michael Jordan statue by The Associated Press; Niklas Hjalmarsson from NHL.com; Chris Pronger and Eric Lindros from deadspin.com; Riley Cote from fllyers07-08.blogspot.com; Patrick Sharp by NHL.com.

Yep, the Colorado Avalanche are out. I don’t know why, but watching the kids this year scrap their way into a spot this year has really endeared me to them  — more so than many other teams.  Yes, they weren’t supposed to make it to the playoffs this year, and were slated to finish last in the NHL.  Yet I can’t help but feel a bit of heartache for the kids.

Maybe it’s because I know that I’ve probably seen Darcy Tucker for the last time with the Avs.  It seems like just yesterday when Goddess Kaatiya called me to tell me we had signed him.  One of my all-time favorite players, I was ecstatic.  Tonight, he waited until the rest of the team had exited the ice before giving the fans a big wave.  How could have time passed so quickly?  Still, we saw almost every single home game he played with the Avs

Then there are the kids.  Who doesn’t love to see a bunch of 18-to-mid-20-year-old kids play their hearts out each night?  I don’t know about you, but I’d rather see a bunch of kids over achieve than the team of old talent reach a quarter of their potential year after year.  Yeah, they made the games worth attending this year, and my heart breaks a little bit for them.

Maybe it’s that we’ve finally given up our season tickets for next year.  I’ll save the details for another post, but it was time.  I actually love this team more than I have in years, but the folks at Kronke Sports Enterprises and team management have proven to me this year that it’s not worth dumping another several thousand into the least fan-friendly organization in the league.  And it makes me sad knowing that we no longer have those 40 games to go to in the middle of winter.

I hope the future holds more energy and fire, and I’d love to see them pick up a talented, skating European — a Swede or a Russian would be nice.  But alas, the Avs seem to be an “all American, all the time” team anymore (with a couple of exceptions.)  Now THAT might bring me back to season tickets.

But that’s all in the future.  For now, I think I’ll just listen to the down and depressing music of the Drive-By Truckers and wallow in some self-pity.  I went to almost all the home games this year.  I deserve it.

Photo: Darcy Tucker by Goddess Sasha. Copyright 2008. All Rights Reserved.

For Thrasher fans it’s the thing to do nowadays to pretend they never loved you. That they don’t have your jersey hanging in the back of their closet. That they didn’t pay to see YOU. That they didn’t want you anyway. That we’re better off without you.

I confess it is with a tiny bit of satisfaction that, despite your trade to what you called a “class organization,” you, my dear Kovalchuk, went out much like you would have with the Thrashers — except that with the Thrashers you probably wouldn’t have won that one playoff game.

That being said, I loved you Kovy. Part of me always will. Just like all the others who have come and gone: Hossa (a personal favorite of mine and the only Thrasher jersey this non-jersey wearing Goddess has ever donned), Marc Savard, Peter Bondra, Slava Kozlov (I could post forever about how much I love him and how he, along with the Red Wings’ Russian Five, are the ones who really solidified my love of hockey), and now you, Kovy.

With a bit of shame and a dash of schadenfreude, I can honestly admit that your tasting defeat in another uniform made me smile a little — but sadly. Sadly because I did love you. And despite what Thrasher fans say, they loved you too. I wish you well, wherever you land. I do believe you did a lot for the city of Atlanta. You provided hockey’s version of the Human Highlight Film on many occasions. You were always accommodating and polite to fans (this year’s Casino Night notwithstanding, in which you were a bit “off”). So adieu Ilya Kovalchuk and best wishes.

And, please forgive my little grin. You don’t really deserve it, but I can’t help it.

Note: This post was written by a completely biased Thrasher fan who, deep in her heart, really wishes him back. No objectivity implied, striven for, or accomplished.

Photos: Ilya Kovalchuk; and Ilya Kovalchuk and Vyacheslav Kozlov by Goddess Kaatiya. Copyright 2009-2010. All Rights Reserved.

As I watched past films of the NHL back in the 70s and 80s, the words a wise man closely tied to the NHL once told me suddenly rang in my ears.  Yes, the game as major-league sport was in its infancy, but the intensity and tenacity of these players once they hit the playoffs was incredible.

We’ve seen it this year in some of the teams, and we’ve seen it completely lacking in others.  We’ve seen it expressed in the wrong ways, which to me is probably the most disappointing.  Cheap shots to the head were almost unheard of back in the days of helmetless players.  Players had some level of respect.

But I digress.  What I really wanted to expound upon is the fact that there are teams out there that don’t know how to play in the playoffs.   Washington?  Look at the talent on that team!  They brought excitement to their fans every game this year.   We “ooohed” and “ahhhed” at Alexander Ovechkin’s exuberant tenacity, at Alexander Semin’s incredible hands and Mike Green’s brilliant slapshots.  What have they brought us in the playoffs thus far?  Nothing but frustration.

Beauty isn’t going to get you very far in the playoffs.  Neither is clean play.  And let’s face it, hooks and frustrated cross-checks aren’t going to get you anywhere but the box.  Look at teams that historically have had great success in the playoffs.  They have grit, brawn, and yes, some sneaky, chippy, and sometimes cheap play.

Ironically, it’s one of the players that is the most despised in the league that is playing an old style of nasty, grinding, playoff hockey.  Say what you will about Sean Avery, but no one can deny the impact he has had on the Capitals-Rangers series:  Getting under the skin of opponents, distracting them on the ice and giving the goalies a whack here and there to throw them off.

Washington?  Where is their Sean Avery?  Where is their forward camped out in front of Henrik Lundqvist, smacking his stick when the refs aren’t looking, giving him that extra little bump?  Give the goalie too much respect and you’re going to end up with a big goose egg in your goal column.

Don’t like the Sean Avery adulation?  How about Detroit, who has at least three — maybe even more — pests in their entourage, with Chris Draper and Tomas Holmstrom leading the pack.  Take a look at any team leading their series and you’ll find they have at least one or two guys who play that role and another one to two who will join their ranks in the playoffs.

And that, my friends, is what brings intensity and fans to playoff hockey. 

Because if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.