Much like Nelson Muntz (of “The Simpsons” fame), I had to let out a tiny giggle at the NHL bringing down the banhammer on Ilya Kovalchuk’s new contract. I know that there have been a few others like this in the last few season; but I asked the same question of them that I did of this one … Does our pal Kovalchoo really need a deal that would last until his oldest child graduates college and would be worth somewhere in the neighborhood of the Gross National Product of a small African nation? (For more puzzling questions, see fellow Goddess Kaatiya’s piece: Kovy’s Contact Rejected — Why?)

To be honest, I am not a Devils fan in the least. Not only am I a Pens fan and still have a bit of a grudge against Scott Stevens for laying out my boy Paulie K in Game 6 of the 2003 Finals; but the beating of my Ducks in that series make them not too friendly around these parts.

However, Ilya has always fascinated me; and after he was traded to New Jersey, I was actually kind of happy for him. Things in Atlanta have never quite gotten off the ground, so with Los Diablos, Mr. Kovalchoo was finally going to a club that had the same level of talent to match his own. And that is a problem with this contract; they might not be able to keep all of it for as long as they would like and at the price tags that talent would be asking for.

Anyway, I thought I would leave you with a few pictures from today’s press conference in New Jersey.

Photos:  Ilya Kovalchuk by Getty Images and The Associated Press.

File this under “things that make you go ‘hmmm…’”

It’s quite intriguing that the National Hockey League has decided to put its foot down with the Ilya Kovalchuk contract. There are several contracts similar to his, though not as long. I doubt they have a legal leg to stand on. Even if the New Jersey Devils and Kovalchuk himself knows this contract was written in such a way as to circumvent the Collective Bargaining Agreement, how can they prove intent? Is it that he’ll be 44 years old when the contract expires and, basically, nobody (let’s say 0.005 percent of players) plays past 40-ish?

Even so, how do you prove intent to circumvent? And even if you do prove it, if the current CBA has that loophole, how do you retroactively close it? And where do you draw the line? Fifteen years was OK for the Islanders’ Rick DiPietro. Marian Hossa signed a big front-loaded contract. Robert Luongo is on a monster deal. Where is the line? Why bring the hammer down at this point?

I am very curious as to how the league thinks it can get away with this randomness — either you can or you can’t do something under a contract. And, while I am not a lawyer, if those other contracts were not in violation, how can this one be?

The Kovalchuk drama continues!  He always was a diva — this somehow fits.  (No really … don’t you think?)

What are your thoughts?

Photo:  Ilya Kovalchuk by Getty Images.

Not so long ago, soon-to-be unrestricted free agent Ilya Kovalchuk was one of the subjects of a television program here in Russia called “Millionaires on Ice.” Will he stay in North America? Will he come home to Russia? This clip gives some interesting insights into Kovalchuk the player, as well as Kovalchuk the personality.

Below is the video, along with my translation.

***

Translation by Goddess Thorkhild.

***

Ilya Kovalchuk: I have a lot of American acquaintances, but as for friends or people with whom I communicate with, they are very few. Because the mentality is different anyway.

At IIHF Worlds in Quebec in 2008 our hockey players won the title for the first time in 15 years. We won’t have this victory without Ilya Kovalchuk. The decisive final seemed to be lost to Canada. But 5 minutes before the end of 3d period Kovalchuk scored and equalized. 4-4. And in the overtime the precise shot by Ilya was the golden.

In the hot American state of Georgia, Ilya Kovalchuk arrived from Tver in 2001. He was just 18, and he went to Atlanta alone. His father, who had always accompanied his son, refused to fly with him this time. He thought Ilya wasn’t mature enough for the NHL, but he proved the opposite. He became the most recognizable player on the Atlanta Thrashers at once.

Ilya Kovalchuk: [At first] I always wanted to go home, and during the first two or three years after the final whistle, I took my things and ran away from here and flew to Moscow –- I missed my friends and parents.

Lyubov Kovalchuk: When he goes to Tver, he immediately phones [asking] “mom, will I have potato with mushrooms?” You will, you will.

The Americans at once shortened the surname “Kovalchuk” to a name short and convenient for them: “Kovy.” Ilya got used to that rather fast. But he is still grated by relations among people in America.

Ilya Kovalchuk: [Here] you go to the restaurant — you pay for yourself, and you pay for yourself. It’s unacceptable for us, right? What a man would let a lady pay for him?

His father taught him to skate. Valery Nikolaevich taught his son to work till exhaustion on hockey tricks and shots. Since age 15 Ilya trained in Tver in the mornings, and went to Moscow in the evenings to play for Spartak’s junior team. In Atlanta Kovalchuk plays wearing number 17, on Team Russia he wears number 71. On Team Russia, the number 17 is retired forever in memory of the legendary Valery Kharlamov. He is Kovalchuk’s idol. Professionals notice -– Ilya, like Valery once did, is able to take the game on himself and to decide the result of any game. If you’re compared with Kharlamov you’re a true superstar.

After three years of bachelor life in America Kovalchuk decided to marry a Russian only. Nicole is half Lithuanian, half Russian. In 2003 she sang with the pop group Mirage. Then she met Ilya. They had common friends. Nicole still sings.

Nicole: In the shower, in the car, for the children, to the smallest I sing lullabies, of course.

Ilya and Nicole married in church in Moscow in Novodevichiy Monastery.

Nicole:: Yes, it happened after three years after our first meeting, after birth of Carolina. You know, I never asked “When will it happen? Let’s get married.” I think the man should come to this decision himself.

Ilya Kovalchuk: My mom and dad lived together for 30-35 years, and they had such a united family, that’s why they grew us in the same way. So I knew that if I was making such a step, I should do it only once in my life.

Ilya Kovalchuk: I have my family, I have my small world in Atlanta, because I try not to get scattered, and to pay as much time as possible to my family, wife and children.

Nicole thinks that the main thing for a hockey player’s wife is a skill to have patience and wait. But then the meetings are especially joyful.

At IIHF Worlds in Switzerland in the final game against Canada team Russia hardly scored to lead in the second period. To keep such a tiny lead during the rest of the game is almost unreal. Our team was exhausting in front of us. And only Kovalchuk hardly the ice. He literally brought team Russia to the first place on his mighty shoulders.

Lyubov Kovalchuk: And in the end there was his gesture, he showed, I said “you weren’t so happy this year as last time.” He said, “mom, I was flat-out.”

Ilya’s father didn’t see the beautiful victory of his son. In 2005 Valery Nikolaevich died from a painful disease. He wasn’t even 60. Ilya still hardly perceives his father’s death.

Lyubov Kovalchuk: When Ilya started to practice, his father started a diary. The famous phrase which is often quoted now, is written in the beginning of the diary, “Our goal is the national team.”

When his father died, Ilya offered to move his mother to Atlanta. But she refused categorically.

Lyubov Kovalchuk: Why don’t I want to live with him constantly? I must have my own life.

In this Tver hospital she works already for 30 years. She gets to work by tram at 8 a.m., though she could have the most expensive car. Patients do not have any idea that she is the mother of a millionaire and a Russian superstar from the NHL Ilya Kovalchuk. It is not accepted to brag about fortune at the Kovalchuk’s.

Photo: Ilya Kovalchuk by Goddess Kaatiya. Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

For Thrasher fans it’s the thing to do nowadays to pretend they never loved you. That they don’t have your jersey hanging in the back of their closet. That they didn’t pay to see YOU. That they didn’t want you anyway. That we’re better off without you.

I confess it is with a tiny bit of satisfaction that, despite your trade to what you called a “class organization,” you, my dear Kovalchuk, went out much like you would have with the Thrashers — except that with the Thrashers you probably wouldn’t have won that one playoff game.

That being said, I loved you Kovy. Part of me always will. Just like all the others who have come and gone: Hossa (a personal favorite of mine and the only Thrasher jersey this non-jersey wearing Goddess has ever donned), Marc Savard, Peter Bondra, Slava Kozlov (I could post forever about how much I love him and how he, along with the Red Wings’ Russian Five, are the ones who really solidified my love of hockey), and now you, Kovy.

With a bit of shame and a dash of schadenfreude, I can honestly admit that your tasting defeat in another uniform made me smile a little — but sadly. Sadly because I did love you. And despite what Thrasher fans say, they loved you too. I wish you well, wherever you land. I do believe you did a lot for the city of Atlanta. You provided hockey’s version of the Human Highlight Film on many occasions. You were always accommodating and polite to fans (this year’s Casino Night notwithstanding, in which you were a bit “off”). So adieu Ilya Kovalchuk and best wishes.

And, please forgive my little grin. You don’t really deserve it, but I can’t help it.

Note: This post was written by a completely biased Thrasher fan who, deep in her heart, really wishes him back. No objectivity implied, striven for, or accomplished.

Photos: Ilya Kovalchuk; and Ilya Kovalchuk and Vyacheslav Kozlov by Goddess Kaatiya. Copyright 2009-2010. All Rights Reserved.

Say you’ll love us again … Kovy? (Hope does spring eternal.)

Intriguing article out of NY. Of course it’s out of New York — The Post — so maybe case open AND closed. Kovy, Kovy, Kovy

I am far too attached to Ilya Kovalchuk to be even remotely objective on the subject of the trade. I’ll just sum it up by saying the Thrashers break my heart into tiny pieces every year, just when I am glueing them back together again. This time, though, it was the Thrashers and “I want to stay in Atlanta” Ilya crushing what was left of my naive hockey-loving heart into tiny irreparable shards.