Much like Nelson Muntz (of “The Simpsons” fame), I had to let out a tiny giggle at the NHL bringing down the banhammer on Ilya Kovalchuk’s new contract. I know that there have been a few others like this in the last few season; but I asked the same question of them that I did of this one … Does our pal Kovalchoo really need a deal that would last until his oldest child graduates college and would be worth somewhere in the neighborhood of the Gross National Product of a small African nation? (For more puzzling questions, see fellow Goddess Kaatiya’s piece: Kovy’s Contact Rejected — Why?)

To be honest, I am not a Devils fan in the least. Not only am I a Pens fan and still have a bit of a grudge against Scott Stevens for laying out my boy Paulie K in Game 6 of the 2003 Finals; but the beating of my Ducks in that series make them not too friendly around these parts.

However, Ilya has always fascinated me; and after he was traded to New Jersey, I was actually kind of happy for him. Things in Atlanta have never quite gotten off the ground, so with Los Diablos, Mr. Kovalchoo was finally going to a club that had the same level of talent to match his own. And that is a problem with this contract; they might not be able to keep all of it for as long as they would like and at the price tags that talent would be asking for.

Anyway, I thought I would leave you with a few pictures from today’s press conference in New Jersey.

Photos:  Ilya Kovalchuk by Getty Images and The Associated Press.

File this under “things that make you go ‘hmmm…’”

It’s quite intriguing that the National Hockey League has decided to put its foot down with the Ilya Kovalchuk contract. There are several contracts similar to his, though not as long. I doubt they have a legal leg to stand on. Even if the New Jersey Devils and Kovalchuk himself knows this contract was written in such a way as to circumvent the Collective Bargaining Agreement, how can they prove intent? Is it that he’ll be 44 years old when the contract expires and, basically, nobody (let’s say 0.005 percent of players) plays past 40-ish?

Even so, how do you prove intent to circumvent? And even if you do prove it, if the current CBA has that loophole, how do you retroactively close it? And where do you draw the line? Fifteen years was OK for the Islanders’ Rick DiPietro. Marian Hossa signed a big front-loaded contract. Robert Luongo is on a monster deal. Where is the line? Why bring the hammer down at this point?

I am very curious as to how the league thinks it can get away with this randomness — either you can or you can’t do something under a contract. And, while I am not a lawyer, if those other contracts were not in violation, how can this one be?

The Kovalchuk drama continues!  He always was a diva — this somehow fits.  (No really … don’t you think?)

What are your thoughts?

Photo:  Ilya Kovalchuk by Getty Images.

“Loco del calor!” as David Lee Roth once sang (and as we in the South are experiencing). Plus, I refuse to use the word “frenzy” today. Here comes a blog-along, like NHL Draft Day. So bear with me as things get crazy!

*  Wow!   Dan Hinote an assistant coach with the Columbus Blue Jackets.  Guess he’s retired.  Unless he’s going the player-coach “Slap Shot” route!

*  More once it hits noon!

* Michael Leighton re-signed in Philly. (Two-year deal.)

* Paille re-signs Boston. Savvy can address later!

* It’s noon.  Let the game begin!

*  Sergei Gonchar moves to Ottawa!

* Former Thrasher Braydon Coburn stays with Philly (two year deal, per Craig Custance). Thank you D-Wad for losing him for Alexei Zhitnik! Grrrr…

* COME ON THRASHERS!!!!!

* People who do on-air fonts need to remember the difference between a person who “resigns” and a person who “re-signs.” HUGE difference, loves. /copyeditor rant

* Alex Tanguay (back) to Calgary Flames. Wow.

* Philly VERY busy! They got Andrei Meszaros from Tampa.

* BABCHUCK’S BACK. The ‘Canes pick up their on-again, off-again, sometimes troublesome Slavic baby.

* Wheee! Guillaume Latandresse re-signs with Minnesota Wild. Get WILD!!

* Marty Biron leaves Philly for New York Rangers — will he be the next Kevin Weekes — never able to secure that No. 1 goalie situation. I think he already is the new Kevin Weekes.

* Come on Thrashers — if you can’t get the Moose, get DAN ELLIS! YEAH! Come on!

* Former prime minister Paul Martin to Pittsburgh!? What’s going down with NJ?!

* Does letting Paul Martin go mean a Kovalchuk signing is nigh?!?

* Dying to see where Kovy goes — is he a greedy bastard? Or does he just dislike Atlanta’s direction? Does he go to LA to revive his wife’s singing career?!

* Little Philippe Paradis traded! Awww Mr. Glasses from last year’s draft to Blackhawks. Versteeg going back to Leafs.

* Zybenk Michalek to Pittsburgh. (Five years, 20 mil.)

* COME ON THRASHERS GET SOMEONE GOOD!!!

* Colby Armstrong to Toronto — three years, $9 million. That’s a lot, I think.

* Dan Ellis goes to Atlanta rival Tampa Bay. On the plus side, no more Niitty in Tampa (for those who don’t know, Atlanta has never beaten Niittymaki). On the minus, oh Dan Ellis would have been a fabulous bit of marketing for the Thrashers.

* Olie Jokinen back to the Flames — really? Is that possible? Hard to believe that rumor.

* Jody Shelley to Flyers. Gosh. Excitement today. The Flyers are going wacky today?! No?

* Tough guy-o-rama: Derek Boogaard to New York. Yowza!

* I guess it’s OK to mention here that deep in my heart I still wish for Kovy back in Atlanta.

* Where will Slava Kozlov end up? I am afraid it might be the KHL.

* Surprisingly unsurprising or unsurprisingly surprising. Colby leaving ATL. No surprise. Everyone, myself included, figured he’d go rejoin the Penguins and his bromance-worthy pal Crosby. I wish him all the best in Toronto. He’ll be entertaining to the media if nothing else, because of, you know, who he is. ;-)

* Not all that surprising that Kovy is still unsigned. I am sure he has a million and one options to go through. But, wondering, if at some point he doesn’t start getting into a pickle in which teams keep spending and have less room for him. Therefore, he ends up with fewer choices?

* Chris Viv (@ajcthrashers on Twitter) reports that the Thrashers are “working” on their goaltender situation. Oooooh. I wonder if that just means re-signing The Moose. Or bringing back Michael Garnett?!?! (Whose hockey cards I still collect incidentally, and who has really done well in the KHL.)

* I like the Tampa Bay Lightning re-signing Martin St. Louis. He’s solid. He’s a Thrasher killer, but he just works there. Way to go Tampa on Marty and getting Dan Ellis, whom I coveted for the Thrashers.

* Where will Goddess Sasha fave Paul Kariya go?!?

* So Dan Hamhuis (great last name) to the Canucks. Interesting. I never thought Dan Hamhuis would be an edge-of-your-seat, where-will-he-go?!? kind of guy. No offense to him, but it’s wacky.

* So Thrashers free agents: Maxim Afinogenov, Pavel Kubina, Eric Boulton, Evgeny Artyukin, (my dear and beloved) Vyacheslav Kozlov, Chrisoph Schubert, Chris Chelios (LOL), Marc Popovic and Johan Hedberg. NONE of these guys is signed. Yowza! Maybe Goddess Thorkhild has some scoop from Russia about Afinogenov, Kozlov or Artyukin (??).

* D-Men in hot demand today.

* Some of these deals just don’t thrill: Jeff Tambellini to Vancouver. Maybe if it was my team. Hmph.

* Chris Mason signs with Thrash — wow. I am going to need a few seconds/minutes/days to think about this, particularly the loss of fan-fave Hedberg, which this certainly means.

* Yowza — Chicago South for the Thrashers with Andrew Ladd coming to the ATL for a pick. Go Dudley??

* I haven’t mentioned Volchenkov. I guess I am lazy. Volchenkov to New Jersey. Blah, blah, blah.

* So from the Bizarro World Olie Jokinen goes back to the Calgary Flames. Interesting. Anyone have any thoughts?!

* As an aside, the Bizarro World is a place in DC comic book land where the inhabitants do the opposite. Of course anyone who watched “Seinfeld” is somewhat familiar with this world.

* Ivan Vishnevskiy we hardly knew thee. He goes back to Chicago in the Andrew Ladd deal. Weird.

* The dismantling of the Blackhawks begins. The Blackhawks do stock up in so doing. Goddess Savvy foresaw this in a wonderful post just days after the big victory.

* I am a bit sad that Thrashers pretty much ended up with nada for Kari Lehtonen, a former first-round draft choice, going second overall (after Rick Nash!!!).

* Two-year deal for Chris Mason from Atlanta Thrashers. I am not as excited about this as I might have been about Dan Ellis, though, it might turn out better? Thoughts anyone?

* If Olie Jokinen can go back to Calgary, how ’bout the Thrashers bring back Marc Savard! (Just kidding, Goddess Savvy.)

* @benthrashers tweets: “Chris Mason was 13th in the NHL in wins and GAA and finished all 61 games he started.” NICE!

* @craigcustance reports Johan Hedberg is likely headed to New Jersey. I feel a bit sad, despite the post above.

* If you made it this far in the post, thank you for reading. How about giving me a shout out? Leave a comment and say, “I read this post and I didn’t even get a stinking T-shirt.”

* Hey! The Sabres are going to sign brave, brave Jordan Leopold. And there was much rejoicing. (Later, they will eat Sir Robin’s minstrels.)

* Curious about Garnet Exelby — a former Thrasher and huge fan favorite in Atlanta. Also wondering about Manny Legace and Jose Theodore.

* We need some more bloggers — are you reading this? Interested? Message Goddess Kaatiya.

* If “frenzy” didn’t start with an “F” would it always be a “frenzy” on free agent day?

* Now that the Thrashers have raided the Blackhawks’ closet, when are they going to nab John Torchetti?!?

* It’s been uncannily quiet on the Kovalchuk front. KHL rumors — no? Any rumors? Only the tired LA one. Let’s hear something on Kovy!

* Selfishly, I want Kovy either back in ATL (not gonna happen, I know) or in the K. That way I can still cheer for him.

* Turco? Nabokov? Theodore? Toskala? What’s up boys?

* As a Thrasher fan I am thrilled that Thrasher killer Antero Niittymaki is OUT OF THE EASTERN CONFERENCE! Yes! (As I mentioned above, the Thrashers have never beaten Niitty.)

* Awww … the Ducks re-signed Saku Koivu. Now I can continue to never see him anymore (alas).

* Saw that people call Dustin Byfuglien “Buff Daddy.” Now this I love. Perfect for ATL, yo.

* A source is reporting that the Los Angeles Kings are now the only suitors left for Kovalchuk, New Jersey Devils are out — he’s too rich for their blood. I still have an inkling that the KHL could be calling. But maybe Kovalchuk’s wife wants to renew (?), rejuvenate (?), or in the eyes of some start a career in L.A. Hmmm…

* Where might a personal favorite of mine — Darcy Tucker — go?

* Gotta give props to @TSNBobMcKenzie — that dude’s got sources and sources and more sources.

* Well, that about wraps this up for me. What are you thoughts on the NHL’s free agent day? Share ‘em with us!

Not so long ago, soon-to-be unrestricted free agent Ilya Kovalchuk was one of the subjects of a television program here in Russia called “Millionaires on Ice.” Will he stay in North America? Will he come home to Russia? This clip gives some interesting insights into Kovalchuk the player, as well as Kovalchuk the personality.

Below is the video, along with my translation.

***

Translation by Goddess Thorkhild.

***

Ilya Kovalchuk: I have a lot of American acquaintances, but as for friends or people with whom I communicate with, they are very few. Because the mentality is different anyway.

At IIHF Worlds in Quebec in 2008 our hockey players won the title for the first time in 15 years. We won’t have this victory without Ilya Kovalchuk. The decisive final seemed to be lost to Canada. But 5 minutes before the end of 3d period Kovalchuk scored and equalized. 4-4. And in the overtime the precise shot by Ilya was the golden.

In the hot American state of Georgia, Ilya Kovalchuk arrived from Tver in 2001. He was just 18, and he went to Atlanta alone. His father, who had always accompanied his son, refused to fly with him this time. He thought Ilya wasn’t mature enough for the NHL, but he proved the opposite. He became the most recognizable player on the Atlanta Thrashers at once.

Ilya Kovalchuk: [At first] I always wanted to go home, and during the first two or three years after the final whistle, I took my things and ran away from here and flew to Moscow –- I missed my friends and parents.

Lyubov Kovalchuk: When he goes to Tver, he immediately phones [asking] “mom, will I have potato with mushrooms?” You will, you will.

The Americans at once shortened the surname “Kovalchuk” to a name short and convenient for them: “Kovy.” Ilya got used to that rather fast. But he is still grated by relations among people in America.

Ilya Kovalchuk: [Here] you go to the restaurant — you pay for yourself, and you pay for yourself. It’s unacceptable for us, right? What a man would let a lady pay for him?

His father taught him to skate. Valery Nikolaevich taught his son to work till exhaustion on hockey tricks and shots. Since age 15 Ilya trained in Tver in the mornings, and went to Moscow in the evenings to play for Spartak’s junior team. In Atlanta Kovalchuk plays wearing number 17, on Team Russia he wears number 71. On Team Russia, the number 17 is retired forever in memory of the legendary Valery Kharlamov. He is Kovalchuk’s idol. Professionals notice -– Ilya, like Valery once did, is able to take the game on himself and to decide the result of any game. If you’re compared with Kharlamov you’re a true superstar.

After three years of bachelor life in America Kovalchuk decided to marry a Russian only. Nicole is half Lithuanian, half Russian. In 2003 she sang with the pop group Mirage. Then she met Ilya. They had common friends. Nicole still sings.

Nicole: In the shower, in the car, for the children, to the smallest I sing lullabies, of course.

Ilya and Nicole married in church in Moscow in Novodevichiy Monastery.

Nicole:: Yes, it happened after three years after our first meeting, after birth of Carolina. You know, I never asked “When will it happen? Let’s get married.” I think the man should come to this decision himself.

Ilya Kovalchuk: My mom and dad lived together for 30-35 years, and they had such a united family, that’s why they grew us in the same way. So I knew that if I was making such a step, I should do it only once in my life.

Ilya Kovalchuk: I have my family, I have my small world in Atlanta, because I try not to get scattered, and to pay as much time as possible to my family, wife and children.

Nicole thinks that the main thing for a hockey player’s wife is a skill to have patience and wait. But then the meetings are especially joyful.

At IIHF Worlds in Switzerland in the final game against Canada team Russia hardly scored to lead in the second period. To keep such a tiny lead during the rest of the game is almost unreal. Our team was exhausting in front of us. And only Kovalchuk hardly the ice. He literally brought team Russia to the first place on his mighty shoulders.

Lyubov Kovalchuk: And in the end there was his gesture, he showed, I said “you weren’t so happy this year as last time.” He said, “mom, I was flat-out.”

Ilya’s father didn’t see the beautiful victory of his son. In 2005 Valery Nikolaevich died from a painful disease. He wasn’t even 60. Ilya still hardly perceives his father’s death.

Lyubov Kovalchuk: When Ilya started to practice, his father started a diary. The famous phrase which is often quoted now, is written in the beginning of the diary, “Our goal is the national team.”

When his father died, Ilya offered to move his mother to Atlanta. But she refused categorically.

Lyubov Kovalchuk: Why don’t I want to live with him constantly? I must have my own life.

In this Tver hospital she works already for 30 years. She gets to work by tram at 8 a.m., though she could have the most expensive car. Patients do not have any idea that she is the mother of a millionaire and a Russian superstar from the NHL Ilya Kovalchuk. It is not accepted to brag about fortune at the Kovalchuk’s.

Photo: Ilya Kovalchuk by Goddess Kaatiya. Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

The Sporting News wrote a quick and dirty piece with this juicy nugget: Ilya Kovalchuk is close to signing with SKA Saint Petersburg of the Kontinental Hockey League.

The article also mentions Alexander Frolov will follow as well. My favorite player, Slava Kozlov, too, is reportedly going to be headed to the K (as Goddess Sasha and I took to calling it when we were in Moscow). Frankly, I think it’s sad to see this exodus — and I’m only exaggerating a little when I use that term — of Russian players back to their native land.

Sergei Zubov, Sergei Brylin, Sergei Fedorov (any other Sergeis I am missing?), Viktor Kozlov, Dmitry Kalinin, Nikolai Zherdev, Anton Babchuk, Oleg Saprykin, Oleg Kvasha, Alexander Radulov, Alexei Morozov, Alexei Yashin, Alexei Zhitnik (could Alexei Kovalev be far behind?!) not to mention non-Russian Richard Zednik, a Slovak, who broke my heart when he left last year. Add Kovy and Frolov and Slava Kozlov and you’ve got a pretty impressive list there.

I am sure people will say “good riddance.” That it will give good, old-fashioned North Americans more jobs. Maybe that’s true, but I think the league, in many ways, will be less interesting without them. What do you think?

Image: Ilya Kovalchuk by Goddess Kaatiya. Copyright 2008-2010. All Rights Reserved.

I’ve long supported and loved you, but I am a bit exasperated by the quotes you’ve been giving about Atlanta. Please just quietly go and say no more about the team and fans who love you. That way, I can love you still.